EWW Face The Music
by dobokdude
Summary: (Parody of Cinemasins) The first part of the Season 2 finale was great, but not without it's flaws. I'm here just to remind you guys of that... Rated T for language


**Everything Wrong With Face The Music(parody)**

 **Okay guys so first off I loved the finale, like really. And we are getting Season 3 this summer and a 4th season in the future! This just may be the Steven Universe of Disney XD! But anyway, let's get on with this**

 **NOTE: SVTFOE belongs to Disney and Daron Nefcy, Cinemasins belongs to Jeremy Scott and Chris Atkinson. Enjoy!**

Everything Wrong With ''Face The Music'' (spoilers, duh)

'' **Mom! Worst. Song. Ever.''**

Ugghh, I agree with Star this song is cheesy to high hell and back(ding)

'' **Yes Star it's a tradition as old as the kingdom itself and is you official introduction as future queen to the people of Mewni.''**

Wait, so shouldn't this song have been sung when she was born? Would make more sense as an intro but then we'd have no episode(ding)

 **And remember Star, the people of Mewni like their princess songs light and fluffy. Can you handle that?**

This is gonna be a major contradiction later(ding)

Wow, Moon with her hair down, take off a sin(reverse ding)

'' **At least call me when you get there!''**

Wait so is that phone Star have something from Mewni? Maybe I missed some episodes or Mewni has some Schizo Tech? But then why have cell phones and yet when Star came to Earth she got scared of a water fountain?(ding)

'' **And may I just say, though we have much to do how much of a pleasure it is to meet you-''**

'' **Stop, I get it. Come in.''**

Seriously guys I don't know if it's Mewberty but Star is a major (bleep) in this episode. Pardon my French.(ding)

'' **Well if you have mint tea it might-''**

'' **As a matter of fact we do! Marco is a member of the Tea of the Month Club!''**

Then why didn't he go get the tea?(ding)

Ruberiot, I know you're new to Earth but clearly if you see Marco's watching the TV screen, kinda rude to start playing like that, especially since you're a guest in his home(ding)

'' **Hey Janna-Banana, wanna go to the mall?''**

(Sigh) This isn't even the worst part just wait till later.(ding)

Moon, I get you need to keep a low profile which is why you didn't bring guards, but you seriously couldn't bring any weapons or armor?(ding)

'' **Not even gonna pick up a guy's crown for him.'' (Crown falls off again)**

Okay Brudo's pretty funny, lose a sin(reverse ding)

'' **My dear we have company, might want to get dressed.'' (Lady Avarius stand up and baby flies away)**

Wait Ludo comes from a bird like species right? And birds don't breastfeed their young as far as I know, and if she wasn't doing that why did Brudo tell her to get dressed when she has clothes on?(ding)

'' **I'm sorry to intrude. Please accept this bag of corn.''**

Wait so you brought a pouch of corn as a bargaining piece but couldn't bring any sort of protection when you were going into a deadly forest?(ding)

'' **Corn! We don't need corn! We're doing great, thanks!''**

'' **But perhaps we can find someone else who can use it.'' (Stuffs corn into robe)**

Let's see, grumpy husband, wife with a black eye who smuggles food from a caring stranger yep it's a subtle hinting at a domestic abuse situation. See this is why animated stuff isn't ''just for kids'' like many like to say. Aside from great plots and character development, there's also these subtle things that only older audience members would pick up on(reverse ding)

 **Okay I'm just gonna go down the list… Dudo, Kudo, Mudo, Tudo, Fudo, Zudo…''**

'' **I have no idea who that is.''**

'' **Not...Dennis!''**

Wow you couldn't find a name for your other son with the udo part? Was Dudo taken?(ding)

'' **We don't say that name in this house anymore, not since he and his goons took over our castle and changed the locks while we were on vacation.''**

Wait how the hell did they do that? Did you have an army of guards or were Ludo's monsters your original guards who betrayed you? Or did they just beat your original army? If the latter your army is weak as (bleep) because Star and Marco kicked their asses several times a week in Season 1.(ding)

'' **Well what do you expect? We had alot of kids. Ludo was the runt! He couldn't even fit in the family picture!''**

Why didn't you just get him a stool?(ding)

Wait so I just noticed the music in the background, and I can tell it's not the soundtrack. So on Mewni they have phonograms and apparently cameras from the looks of the picture. Could be Schizo Tech but since Star didn't know what plumbing or electricity was coming to Earth I'm calling bullshit(ding)

'' **There there. We can't always control the path our children choose to take.''**

See this is what I'm talking about. This really strikes a cord with the parents who are watching with the kids. You can raise them the best you can, but ultimately they decide their fate. Plus this is great foreshadowing(reverse ding)

'' **Where is Princess Star? Has she traveled far? I am very musically skilled but if I don't write this I'll surely be ki-''**

Okay again this is why this isn't just a kids' show. You may think he's joking but he said surely so what the Queen and King were really gonna have Ruberiot executed if Star didn't cooperate and have her song written? This just got dark(ding)

'' **If you don't leave right now, maybe I'll leave for good.''**

This line from the trailer makes more sense in this context, as I couldn't figure out how Star would say this to Marco in his own house. Again nice foreshadowing(reverse ding)

'' **Hey Staaarrr. Before you leave us alone again, for a very long time with no explanation..''**

Marco, buddy you haven't seen nothing yet(ding)

'' **Please just do what he says. He's been singing at me for 8 hours asking where you are!''**

'' **Well I'm sorry but I don't want anything to do with Ruberiot and his stupid Princess songs.''**

Look Star, you're frustrated by your mom's high expectations I get it. But Ruberiot is just trying to do his job. AND preserve his life(ding)

'' **He's uh, he's staring at us isn't he?'' (Ruberiot staring from the living room)**

Creepy ass foreshadowing(ding)

 **(Moon sees figure jumping in the trees) ''I know you're there. Come on out if you know what's good for you.''**

This is why you should've come armed. What would you have done if it hadn't been Dennis?(ding)

'' **Ruby just stop. Please stop. I know my mom sent you here but honestly I can't help you. Princess songs are objectively awful. They are these trite little puff pieces about perfect little princesses with perfect little lives, and that's not me! And songstriels like you are part of the problem! You music just puts pressure on future princesses to be perfect! So you might as well take your stupid notebook, and your stupid lute and go back to Mewni because I have no interest in helping some stupid hack write a stupid princess song!**

Wow Star, Seriously is it your time of the month because seriously you are being so mean. I get it, the expectations placed upon you are frustrating but you said it yourself that your mother the Queen is making him do this so why are you taking all of this out on him, you (bleep). (ding)

 **Moon walks into her chambers and throws off her cloak. She stands in front of two diamond doors. Her cheeks and the diamonds in the door glow and they open revealing an armored dress**

Wow Moon has really leveled up. First she was the typical strict queen mother with high expectations but she's really a badass ruler deep down. Lose a sin!(reverse ding)

Although why the fuck didn't she bring it with her to the deadly forest, or at least the swords?(ding)

 **Star and Marco rush through the door to their seats. ''Hey everyone. Mom hi. ''Hey queen.''**

Marco in a royal outfit. As a Starco shipper I like this foreshadowing.(reverse ding)

'' **I had the worst wardrobe malfunction. Do you know how hard it is to find a decent shoulder tassle in an Earth mall? Oh hey mom you have a little thingie in your hair?''**

How did she not notice that when she was getting her hair done?(ding)

'' _ **Weaving magic like a born spellcaster, and wreaking havoc like a natural disaster, she rocks her narwhal blasts and warnicorn stampeeeede! She's gonna earn her crown so hail to the Queeeen! She's a rebel princess she's the best! She's a ball of lightning in a hot pink dress!''**_

Okay this song is hella dope. Minus 3 sins(three reverse dings)

 **(Rhombulus stands up pumping fists into the air) ''Yeah that's my girl!''**

Nice continuity reference. Minus another sin.(reverse ding)

'' **What a delightful little ditty! Good job, Star!''**

The song wasn't really light and fluffy, except for the beginning. But perhaps after learning about Ludo's relationship with his family Moon probably decided to be a bit lenient. Nice character development(reverse ding)

'' _ **Shooting Star shining in the night so bright, started to attract a pair of envious eyes! The villiain rose up from behind the jester's draw, she drove him away but didn't know what she had lost. Glossaryck and her book of spells, how could she know Ludo would take them for himself, she confessed to her parents all full of dread! The King and Queen exchanged a look and this is what they said, this is what they said, this is what they said…We will keeeep the silence for you ,from the citizens of Mewni and the High Commission too!**_

'' **Star?!''**

 **(Star groans nervously)**

'' **Star?!''**

'' **Mom what did you expect, I couldn't right some puff piece! I had to do what felt right for me!''**

Okay, so in all my time as a nerd/geek/fanboy, I have never seen any character fuck up THIS badly. Star I can understand and even sympathize with wanting a song that was more honest about who you were, but in what dimension did it seem like a good idea to tell the whole damn kingdom(or multiverse since the Commission and probably people from neighboring kingdoms were in attendance) about how you lost the Book of Spells and the little all-powerful dwarf man who serves whoever the book belongs to? What the actual fuck?!(3 dings)

'' **Royal secret, one last to tell, a princess under true love's spell…''**

'' **Oh no.''**

HAAAAHAAAAHAHAHA, Star's face is priceless!(reverse ding)

'' _ **Who is the boy in the earthly attire? The prince of the Princess' deepest desires! I don;t need to show it, I think we all know it but just to be certain I'll say it agaaaiin, Star Butterfly is in love with, her, best, friend… And his name is Marco Diaz''.**_

Well Star, the worst nightmare of any teenager has come true for you. Someone in the most elaborate and embarassing way possible told everyone(including your parents) who the love of your life is. Right in front of them. Seems like karma's a (bleep) just like you(reverse ding)

'' **Mom I didn't realize this would happen. I thought they wanted to know the real Star Butterfly.''**

Why the fuck didn't you leave it at the second part. It would've been short but sweet, I personally prefer the song before it mentioned Glossaryck or Marco.(ding)

'' **They don't Star. They just want to believe that you're a perfect little princess. And sometimes the truth is dangerous.''**

See, great foreshadowing. Sounds like Moon had to learn this the hard way.(reverse ding)

Also the song was fine Star until you FUCKING spouted royal secrets to the whole damn kingdom!(ding)

'' **With all due respect Moon, withdrawing information about Glossaryck and the spell book has put us all in danger!**

Nice to see Hekapoo again, minus a sin(reverse ding)

'' **So uh…''**

'' **Hold that thought, Marco.''(Runs over to window, pulls out wand and summons Cloudy)**

'' **Hey Star!''**

'' **Hey Cloudy, let's get out of here.''(Flies off into the night)**

You gotta be fucking kidding me? YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! Star Butterfly, the future queen of Mewni basically started a damn riot revealing confidental secrets to the public(which could lead to further trouble since if rival kingdoms are in attendance and any of them have a bone to pick with Mewni, this gives them the opportunity they'd be looking for) got her mother in trouble with the MHC, AND dropped a major bombshell on her best friend. And what does she do? She just nopes the fuck out, leaving her parents, allies and best friend and love interest to deal with the angry mob of citizens outside who may just start getting more violent, especially if you know anything about history you know this type of shit usually leads to a fucking coup, and yet she leaves everyone behind? Look I still love Star, and I know that this will help her develop as a character. But this is still the biggest ''What The Hell hero'' moment I've ever seen in animation history, this (bleep) is getting 10 sins(ten dings)

 **Sin total: 23**

 **Sentence: Just Friends** _ **( ''And now we'll be, juuuusst friiieendsss…'')**_

 **Well guys I hope you enjoyed this piece. I did enjoy the finale and I will get to Starcrushed but I wanted to give you guys this little treat. Don't forget to read and review, peace!**


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